Over the years I have struggled with the balancing act of being a mother, full-time college student and ambitious believer in living my dreams. I’ve always believed in myself and knew that the action of achieving those dreams all began and resulted in being consistent in acquiring knowledge to specialize the things that would result in my dreams coming true. Being a single parent mother is very difficult and heartbreaking at times. There are times in which I felt that the world was falling on my shoulders as I carried my child in the protection of my arms. A mother is a protector, a provider, a windshield wiper. Sometimes mothers may feel as though they are fragile and breakable because mothers carry all the weight of multiple lives. Being a mother is not a paid occupation. Mothers reap no rewards for simple actions that they provide or for sacrifices they make for their child. For a mother, no one really knows when you cry at night because you didn’t make enough money to buy your child the things they wanted for Christmas or being able to enjoy a movie night during the week because you are so focused on providing the next meal for the two (or more) of you. When you think you have it all and the one you love stops being their for you and your child, you wear the shame of being an unwed parent.
I have had the most difficult time providing for my child at times but my love for her and my belief in my dreams as a reality kept me rejuvenated in pure faith. Wanting to live my dreams, I had to keep my drive on accelerate in the right direction and that direction for me is my own path. I am a firm believer in education and doing research, however, sometimes one must pathe their own way to success. There is no definite way to be you. You must find yourself through a compilation of mistakes and triumphs in your life, through love and through heartbreak, from the pros and cons of following the perfect and/or rugged line of direction and authority. As a child, you learn what life is and the feeling of being free to chose likes and dislikes. As youth, you learn discipline and instruction. As a teenager, you learn what makes you comfortable and what you prefer out of life, people and hobbies. As a young adult, you process what you’ve learned in life and you are to apply it in the real world. While most go on to college or trade schools, others go into the workforce. Some are blessed with fortune early on yet most aren’t. I wasn’t. I came from the minimal of worldly luxury. I was blessed with love and family, fundamentals of life from lessons of death of close family members and grief. I learned appreciation of time and the essence of grasping moments. Those few life lessons gave me the multitude of faith in belief that what is meant for me will be. No one can say who you are but you.
The things that I am living in my life may look glamorous to some; red carpet events, celebrity party hosting, gracing the covers of magazines and being on television in various lights. Those in the limelight shouldn’t take their light for granted. I’m at a pinnacle point in my life in which things are only going to gravitate upward. Attitude is everything and appreciation of time and moments is key. If you don’t appreciate the times that you went without, how can you appreciate the good things that are finally earned. It’s easy to look at the next person and try to discredit their blessing. It’s harder to evaluate your life and seek to inspire from your hardships and stretches of happiness. I aspire to inspire those of you who follow my life and read my words as my words are a reflection of multifaceted areas of my inner beauty. I’m not just a pretty face or just a chick you may “hate” on. Through my lifetime of pain, tribulations, sacrifice, happiness and lessons learned, I seek to inspire you with positivity that I have developed through pure faith that I will have no limitation to fulfilling my dreams.
From my heart.